A year Later and A Few Dollars Short

Wow! Can it actually be a year ago that I took to the road? What an adventure I set out on. I still can't believe I did it. What an accomplishment, yet it all seems like some sort of dream or movie. Two months just cruising. Wow those were exciting, frightening, and extremely exhausting times. I met so many great people and who I will never forget. I know all of you who read this probably read my other blog. Yes I am aware that I never finished it, but trust me I'm working on it.

I like to do this look at a year later crap, but I find it helps put everything in perspective. I took a look back at my writings before I left, and its funny to see how completely obsessed I was with a girl I have since almost completely forgotten about. Strange how that works. For a moment she was my complete focus and sole existence for living. Its like one day thats all you want, and the next you could care less. I suppose thats mostly due to my lack of focus toward working on my own life. also back then my lack of attention to my bipolar disorder lead to some interesting times. but man I read back through that stuff, and what a love sick puppy I was. This makes me wonder too? Sometimes every now and again thoughts and questions of her unwelcoming make their way into my head.

Does she miss me?
Has she found a new man?
Hows her life going?
I hope she gets a VD!

Yes I suppose their is still a little anger there, but its all in the past and I have moved on. My life has taken some amazing turns that were set into motion by this girl's rejection of me, which would ultimately lead me to a better life. Is that confusing or what? Its all in perspective. If I had never met her and she never broke my heart I never would have gone on my trip, I never would have met Adrienne, I never would have gone to school (if I could take it back I would have gone to a better school someplace else), I never would have gotten my internship at Smith Barney, gotten my psychiatric help, and the list continues with so many positive occurrences all thanks to her leaving my life. It makes me think what a fool I was and how ironic life can be. I used to think that having her in my life would be the best thing to ever happen to me, and it turns out not having her in it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

Ah sometimes the cosmos align just right for you, and set into motion all sorts of endless possibilities that can be focused in a moment of brilliance. I know this year, like the year before will be filled with setbacks, but God Damn, I'm ready to take em on.