I Am in a World of Shit

Uh, life just seems to be getting worse and worse for me. At least in my own mind it is. I don't know what happened...well actually I do but its a long story. So to sum it up, I graduated school went to Live in Denver Colorado. Had a job that didn't last long and then had another job that didn't last long. I went off my medication, went crazy, and burned my bridge with my little brother. Now I'm back in Chicagoland stuck living with my parents, unemployed, and very unhappy. I have anxiety attacks every hour on the hour. I feel trapped and cornered with no way out. Whats a guy to do?

Now its thought that I was naive for thinking companies would line up to give me a job. To the contrary I never thought that for a second. I knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard. I didn't expect to be handed a good job, however I didn't expect the economy to tank. All I want is a little place to show I have the skills. I want an opportunity! Is that too much to ask?

Everything was going so well over the past few years that I forgot what its like to be miserable. Now that I'm miserable again, I remember what its like to want to take your own life on a daily basis. Its a horrible sensation! Depression and anxiety have clouded my mind and my judgement. I can't live like this. I've done all of this before and I refuse to be like this.