The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever

If you've read my bio you may have seen under occupation I list myself as a zombie killer/vampire hunter. Alas, since zombies and vampires don't roam the earth I have to find an alternative source of work, such as waiting tables at the local Lonestar. While I'm waiting for the dead to rise, I have one quest in life and it is to write the greatest zombie movie ever. Such an odd quest you might be thinking, but its more probable then my quest to take over the world using giant mechs, by becoming the dictator of a small South American country, revitalizing its economy and inviting the evil scientist of the world to build my mechs, all under the guise of a prominent shipping company. Off topic sorry, more on that later. Any who, I was discussing with my brother what the ultimate zombie movie would consist of, and I compiled a short list of the main elements I would have in it.

1 Non stop zombie stomp'n, bash'n, smash'n, decapitate'n, make'n love to your aunt B sick to your stomach kill'n action!

2 A bit of comedy/creativeness to the zombie killing. Check out Peter Jackson's movie Dead Alive, that zombie killing scene actually disturbed me. The use of the lawnmower is just....You have to see it.

3 No lame ass story like Resident Evil, cut to the chase zombies roam the planet, and need to be killed. After a lengthy conversation with my brother on this topic, it was determined that explaining how zombies come about can drag the zombie kill'n down. Who cares where they came from its all about how to kill them. The remake of Dawn Of The Dead and Shaun Of The Dead make a good example of this theory.

4 No scocietal commentaries, to cliche.

5 Zombie killers live by the code "beat em or burn em, its the only way."

6 While trying to determine if the zombies should be slow moving or fast? My brother and I decided, fresh zombies, a week old, move fast and month old zombies are the slower clrawling type.

7 when the credits at the end role I come out and kill Dracula for no reason. I just always wanted to do that and if I'm making a movie well that's got to be in there somewhere.

Think about this, if zombies actually roamed the earth there would be world peace. Man-kind would be united for the common goal of eradicating the undead. If you were a racist you could take your pick on what ever ethnic zombie you came across.

I have the majority of this movie is planned in my head ready to go, but writing a screenplay, as I found out, is no easy task. I also have a whole movie based on Castlevania in my noggen too, trust me its cool.

The new Resident Evil: Apocalypse movie is about to hit the theaters, and I am very skeptical of its zombie killing quality. That Doosh of a director who wrote/directed the first Resident Evil and Alien VS Predator needs a kick in the head. Such wasted potential, especially in AVP. The lack of zombie action in RE was deplorable. Can that guy please stop with the zoom ins from afar, tracking dots on a map, if you've seen both you know what I mean. The only recent Zombie related thing I've seen comes from http://homepage.mac.com/chris_johnston/, check him out, he's an old EGM crew member, and has some funny shit to say about his old mag, if your into that. No pressure. Anyways heres the zombie puppet show http://www.grimmgrottogoods.com/puppetmed.html. Jon I got a think to work, now to reward Erik .