Happy New year!

I just had the most amazing night...........Ok that's a big lie I should have said I just had the most amazingly boring night! I don't know why I'm so disappointed with how my night went. I guess it has to do with the whole celebrating the new year or lack there of. Man (takes deep breath and sighs) oh well there's always next year........and the year after that...and after that .....and after that....until I die. So here's a run down of how my new years went. Should new years be capitalized?

I got to work around 5, to my astonishment I found all three and the only other bartenders that work at Lone Star, working. Well this is great I thought to my self. Looks like its going to be another night of not making any money. I then inquired if I was the relief for one of them, but no. Apparently the wisdom of the higher ups wanted all four of us to be working, because we were going to be "crazy busy!" well, we should be able to at least make some money then? Nope not on a night where a bartender should be able to rake in a small fortune. Even are feeble bar should be able to make a little dough. That is, if we were able to take Bar tables! Once again the higher ups proved their wisdom by not wanting us to make any money and saving there own ass's from (gasp) having to do work. Ok, what will four bartenders do behind a bar that was designed to to only have 1.5 bartenders behind it? well my first suggestion was to just stand around holding are dicks in our hands. This idea worked well for the first hour or so, until business picked up a bit only allowing two bartenders to stand around with their dicks in their hands. This is pretty much set the pace for the rest of the night. The problem wasn't the amount of people in the restaurant, it was with how many people can comfortably reach the bar when its crowded. Now for some math. The bar is fifty feet long with 12 stools. Their is an approximate 5 ft clearance between the bar stools and the bar tables. yada yada yada you can only fit one row of people behind the stools. Ill take a pic tomorrow so you can get a real idea for it. Well if you have various customers coming up at irregular intervals to get a drink, and then standing around for 30 minutes or so waiting to be seated at their table, you can only actually serve about 25 People in an hour and a half. not a very high volume for making money when the average tip is between 75 cents and a dollar. now multiply that by three hours and divide by four bartenders, and you have how much money I made tonight. Now you understand why the five bar tables are so crucial to making money. I guess I am used to not making money on the weekends so this really didn't put a damper on my new years eve, the real blow to it came around 10 PM.

Every body pretty much has plans (except me) on new years eve, partys, events ect. So the restaurant starts to empty out real quick about 8:30 or so. Now we weren't required to stay open until midnight, unless we had guest in the place. So hoping I could get out before the new year began, didn't seem so far fetched, when there was only 3 tables in the place, that I might be able to leave at 11 AM. Some how I always jinx myself when it comes to wishful thinking in this area. So in strolls this elderly couple in their 60's or so. As they entered the main door to the restaurant I was crossing my fingers and saying "get a table, get a table, no don't come over here, go back, go back, high folks how are you tonight" all with a fake smile on my face. Damn, it looks like I'm going to be stuck here now! Wouldn't ya know it, in strolls another couple, same as before. Now im fucked, might as well see if I can make a couple of bucks. (Just for those of you that don't know this, never eat at a restaurant thats empty or about to close. You will get shitty service and bad food. Server don't want to be their job any longer than you want to be at yours!) So the old couple sits down orders yada yada yada, I get around to making chit chat, and say "so you got any plans for the night?" The couple replies with " these are our plans, we intend to spend bringing in the new year with you." Great, I thought, just how I wanted to end 2004 and bring in 2005 with some old farts who I don't even know at my shitty ass job! I replied with a fake smile "thats great, I didn't have any other plans." Well thats true I didn't, but given the choice of going home and sitting in my room by myself and staring at the wall or hanging out with some old people and another couple that kept sending their drinks back, I would have preferred the first choice. Or suicide, suicide would have been the best choice at this juncture.

Now it was around 11 and both couples were showing no signs of leaving anytime soon I had given up on leaving and proceeded to turn the TV on to the count down for New York. This seemed to perplex the older couple, they seemed to think it was midnight, and saying "oh deer we missed it!" The evil genius inside me wanted to say "darn, we did, happy new year every one, last call, drink up, lets go." My dastardly plan would have worked too, if it weren't for the other couple and their pesky dog leaning over and shouting, "Thats the count down for New York!"

Well long story short, ( I'm tired of telling this story) we watched the count down for the Midwest on Conan O'Brien, it was really funny because they had the head of Jon Belushi and Oprah tongue kiss at precisely midnight, although their count seemed to be a couple minutes off. I guess you had to see it to think it was funny. Then the other couple asked me if this was the official count down for Chicago? I responded under my breath with "No you rmrmph this is funny, I mean do you really care, your ringing in the new year at an empty restaurant" I then increased my voice "YA, NO THIS ISN'T THE CHANNEL, LET ME SEE, OK HERE YA GO , CHANNEL SEVEN, you friggin people keeping me here."

Well I managed to finally get out of work around 12:40 Am and proceeded to sit in my car in the parking lot for the next 20 minutes making phone calls to friends that are too busy having a good time to answer. Sigh (takes a deep breath) im depressed I think Ill just go home and play CS till the wee hours. Nah, I don't feel like doing that for once (I must be depressed), I think I'll just spend my entire morning writing this blog. Which I mite add, makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better. I guess there is some truth to expressing your feelings through writhing.