15 Minutes And $285.00 later

I am Abscess free! Although the cyst remains : ( . Ya learn something new every day. Like that little bump in my ear that I described a couple post back, is actually a Cyst. This is how it works, you get some bacteria in there, and your white blood cells create a capsule around it from spreading. Where it sits as a ticking time bomb. Several months later, or years (in my case) some of that bacteria can escape or more can be introduced causing a separate infection around the area know as an abscess. I never imagined when I created this blogg, I would actual devote several entries to its title. Its either by pure coincidence or manifest destiny!

The ENT DR was a very odd fellow bearing a striking resemblance to Dustin Hoffman. He hardly spoke a word to me when he entered the examination room. He just looked over my file, looked up at my ear and then began to scribble something down.

"So" he said "how long have you had that for?"

"well it started on the 2nd and just kept growing."

"says here your taking Augmentin, ok let me get a closer look at that."

he then began feeling at my mighty abscess, without even donning a pair of gloves. At this point I couldn't resist asking what he thought.

"you see a lot of these things?"

"yes, their Farley common, but I've never seen one this big."

we're talking about a 40-something vet in the ear field, and hes never seen an abscess this big in someone's earlobe before. So it is true, things that grow on me are only common in third world country's. Some how I enjoyed hearing about my sole proprietorship over the largest earlobe cyst. Thank you my brave but painful oddity. Now it is time for you to go

"I think" the DR continued "I will have to make a small incision in the back or your ear to drain it. Then we will make a culture of it,.......Well you don't have insurance so I guess we don't have to do that, lets see how the Augmentin works first, but I will still have to drain it."

Yay, extreme jubilation came over me, finally I will be rid of this pesky protrusion. My Jubilation was short lived when the nurse came in with the tools. Scalple, needle, weird clampy things and goz where placed on a sterile table the DR had specifically asked for.

Now in my opinion the whole procedure would have gone a bit smoother if I could have laid down on an examination table. Unfortunately ear, nose, and throat DR's have an examination table that resembles a dentist chair. Its better suited for looking into the facial orifaces, but not great when you have to turn on your side. Also, if your above 5'4" your SOL because the foot rest offers little for streching out. The DR performed with a quasi gentle hand. My earlobe was numbed before hand, so the only pain I felt was when he began squeezing the infected mass from my cheek and upper ear. That made me wince quite a bit, along with the goz packing of the gaping cavity that was formerly filled by my home grown goo. My only regret is I didn't get a look at the contents that spilled forth.

There's something quite odd about having a procedure performed right next to your ear. Even though my earlobe was numb, I could still feel my flesh being cut, and worse yet hear it being done. Even stranger I could hear the fluid in my earlobe escaping. A painless procedure, yet still very uncomfortable.

After the DR finished packing my ear, he fixed a small band aid over the area. It must not have been that big of an incision after all. We where done and he instructed me to make an appointment for Thursday, so he could take the goz out. He then began to say some mumbo jumbo about post procedure visits. I must have had a blank expression on my face, because his assistant turned to me and said "he saying you can come back for free." Free, why couldn't he just said that in the first place?

When making my next appointment, and paying the whopping $285, I engaged in some banter with the receptionist. We were talking about my abscess, when she looked up at me an shouted "your dripping, your Dripping!"

"what?" I then dragged my hand up my neck and noticed the thick blood and ooze mixture. Not quite knowing what to do I just kinda stood there, until the DR came back down the hall way and said "back into the room, I thought I could get away with that band aid,but I think we'll have to bandage that up a bit more drastic."

Let me get this strait, he thought he could use a tiny ass band aid to cover an opening he just milked a pint of bacterial laden juices, not thinking it would continue to ozze out? Well he did pack my earlobe full of goz so I guess he thought that would do it. This also sparked him to change his mind from having me return on Thursday to Tuesday.

So thats how I ended up with this giant bandage on my head.