So It Begins,,,,,,,,,,,

Well Things are back to normal, by normal I mean INSANITY! I wish I lived in middle earth, where the return of the king meant shit was going to get better. Unfortunately here in Hanover Park the return of the king means Frank is back home and with him comes the cone of evilness. But if you talk to him, he'll tell you the only thing evil in this house is me!

Well it only took two days of the parents being home for the shit storm to sweep through the house. The once immaculate surroundings have now been reduced to a rat infested crack house. Ok not that bad, no rats here yet, but the house is trashed. Stuff is every where, dirty dishes in the sink and the house smells like an ashtray.

That and it didn't take Frank long to start in on me with his barrage of insults. My favorite one of his came tonight

"you got fucken attached earlobes.....eerraph....No fucken son of mine (hiccup) has attached earlobes! You...you yoyouiy you must be the son of the devil! Your mother grph u aam must have fucked an Incubus!"

All the while my mom was standing next me. Her response was amusing

"oh Frank, I didn't sleep with an Incubus hehe"

Then Frank replied with

"you don't share my blood..... you must of, because Im looking at the son of the devil!"

Since I haven't spoken to Frank in over a month now, which I don't think he's noticed, because I don't see him until after I get off work, when hes drunk. So I just told my mother to get out of my way before I was forced to murder her husband! Well I am the devils son after all. The rage grows inside me! Maybe his slow painful death from cancer or cerosis of the liver will be enough payback. Killing him quick is what he wants, letting him die of his own devices is torture enough. Ok so this paragraph makes me sound a bit off, but im mad damn it!

My mom likes to tell me "oh your fathers sick, he's an ALCOHOLIC" and likes to leave all these books on alcoholism lieing around my room for me to read. Yeah I know hes a drunk, but does he have to be an asshole to? I know some alcy's and there pretty benine not full of rage and insults towards their family's. Well then every one at the bar seems to think my father/Frank is a great guy and wow your dad rocks, he knows everything. He plays a lot of trivia and scores in the 20's out of the hole nation! If you Play NTN then theres a good chance you've seen his name in the national scores. Well he might know the secrets to the universe, but he don't know shit about being a father!

Now that, thats off my chest, I talked to my little Bro yesterday morning. he always comes off like he knows best. Well maybe he does, he is the most well adjusted member of the family. Andrew frustrates me, thats only because I envy him so much. I might say to him all the time "you think your better than me?" and "don't make me fly to Florida so I can punch you in the head!" I tend to be a touch negative toward him. After all it was my years of abusive negative comments toward my little bro that crafted him into the fine young man he is. That's rite I made you, and I can destroy you......I rue the day we meet again! Its hard to tell but the above comments are meant to be taken sarcastically, its a long running joke I have with my little bro. Well I find it funny but on second thought he probably doesn't. And Andrew, I still love my shirt more than I love you :)

Ok jokes aside Andrew seems to have his shit together. against all odds (for people in this family) he went to a very good private college, majored in Physics, kicked ass graduated cumlaude, toured Europe, interned at the National Institute of Standards and Technology, and is pursuing his dream by going on for his masters in aerospace engineering, which hes gotten a full ride and a stiphen to University of Colorado! Yeah, I'd say theres a lot to be envious of. No it didn't come easy, well he figures himself as a smarty pants so it was for him. Now if I compare that to myself, which I know your never supposed to do Yadda Yadda Yadda so I wont, but........where am I going with this. So basically I partied and drank a lot and traveled around the US. But now I'm an adult and I got nothing. So I am years behind and in a rush to get started. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in a mid 20's crisis and I don't know where to start because I don't know where I am. So wheres the finish line?

Now Andrew is always one to encourage me despite my being a dick to him, well that goes both ways because he's done some shit to me! But still it's hard to take his encouragement more than face value. When he say's shit like "ya you should do that" it just sounds so fake. Besides he's a family member and no one else in the fam gives a crap, persay. I'm an idea man, I have ideas, but don't have the heart to follow through in fear of being trapped. But as Andrew put it "you're already trapped." For once he said something profound to me, and something I will definitely have to ponder.

I don't know where I was going with this, so I guess I just felt like bithching! whats new.