Soulfly? That Doesn't Fly With Me

So its your average day at the Lone*Star, not very busy at all. Im standing behind the bar watching Tv and talking with the bartender, Chris, from the restaurunt next door, whos enjoying a prework beer. When in swaggers this heavy metal biker looking dude. He pulls up a chair and and immediately starts telling me about how his bike broke down and he was waiting for a tow, and that hes not from around here, hes from LA. This peeks my interest a little bit so I ask him what hes in town for? He replies that his band just played a gig at the House of Blues in Chicago. Not realy careing who he played with I asked him what he was doing in Bloomingdale? Thats more interesting to me because if he played a gig down town why would he be out this way, ie the southwest suburbs, pluss I didnt recognize him so he wouldn't play with a band I care for. Before he answered he promptly ordered a Bud Light and began asking about the bars in the neighborhood. This is where I took special interest in his deminor, he was all shaky, agitated looking, fast talking and slaming his beer, the answer to that will come later. Chris, from down at the other end of the bar, started telling him about the local grog establishments, I walked away at this point to tend to some patrons who sat themselves at one of the bar tables. when I returned the biker looking guy was telling Chris that he was in a band, and was in town to visit his brother who lived in Bloomingdale. Chris then ordered another beer for the man who inreturn ordered another beer for Chris. Seems like a nice guy so far.

I then begin simple banter with the Man, who asked me what kind of music I listen too? I gave the generic reply, everything. He then asked if I listened to any metal or hard stuff? I replied with when I was younger I used to listen to alot of heavy metal. The Man says, then you've probaly heard of my band, SOULFLY? Now at this point I've heard of the band SoulFly, but I nerver heard any of there music persay. This is where my instincts kicked in, something about his story wasnt adding up. Not knowing much about the band though I figured he might be in the band? He certainly fit the description of someone who might be in a heavy metal band. So I noded my head and say thats cool. At this point I still don't quite believe hes lagit, so I begin to probe into some deeper questioning, like what was it like being on tour with the Ozzfest? The Man gives me a long answer about venues and sound and what its like to be on stage. Pretty beliveable to me, but their very generic answers and thinking back on it now I could have given the same damn answers. So now I kinda believe hes actualy with SoulFly, but I don't care about the band so I continue chargeing him for his beers. I then leave the bar in search of a fellow coworker who might know anything about this band to find out if this guy is truely laggit.

My search of anyone who might know about SoulFly was a futile effort, the only two employees, Chad and Kristen, who would know for sure weren't working. So I had to take him on his word. When I returned to the bar the man then said he liked me and would get me into their next show in october for free. Like I said, I could careless but replied with thats cool. I believe this was an effort to befriend me, so I would not charge him for his beers. This is comman among bartenders and their loyal patrons, but it wouldn't work on me. Pluss like I explained in the post before this one, I just got done with being yelled at about bar theft. If the Man was drinking draft beer thats another story, but bottles we count, so I wasn't about to give him shit for free. Now I'm starting to get a litlle busy so I dont have time to continue anymore conversation with the Man. Thats when this new guy, I don't know his name yet but hes Bobby's friend, who works with us comes up to the bar and orders a beer. Hes not working, but had nothing better to do then come up to his new place of business, not very professional, and start drinking. I give Bobby's friend a big Bud Light draft and start him a tab. The Man and Bobby's friend immediatly start conversing, I suppose he was telling the new comer about being in SoulFly and what not. The Man then orders a another beer for Bobby's friend and tells me to put it on his tab. He then ask Bobbys freind, ( I wish I knew his damn name so I wouldn't have to keep typeing Bobby's freind) quite bluntly, for a ride to his brothers house around the corner. Bobby's Friend seemed a little reluctant, so the man enticed him with some cash. Bobby's friend then agreed, this seemed to make the Man a little more anxouis, to get going in a hurry. This sent up a red flag in mind. The Mans brother lived around the corner, and he couldn't call him to pick him up? This is where the story takes an unfortunate turn for bobbys friend.

Bobby's friend is from a small town in Ohio, hes here going to school at the Universal Technical Institute, (we call them universal technical idiots) and this is where those small town discrimination storys of the Big City come from. The Man, now in a hurry, orders Bobby's freind to slam his beer. Bobby's freind, impressed by the fact that he may have met someone famous, does so without hesitation. The Man then asked for his tab, which I promptley gave him. He looked at his tab kinda confused, probaly for the fact that I charged him for all 8 of his beers. He tossed a 20 down and told me to keep it, thanks for the 3 bucks famous rich SoulFly dude. He then reminds me that he will pass me into their next show and tosses me his phone number, Highly unlikely for a famous muscian to do so, and says in a wisper to keep that on the down low. He doesnt want fans and shit calling him. He then asked for my # and name, still not quite convinced he wasn't who he said he was, I did so. What the hell he might be lagit, and what can someone do with a cell number and name anyways? They then goe on their. After they had left I looked down at the phone number he gave me, It startedwith a 312 area code, the same for Chicago. I thought this guy said he lived in LA?

I then called my freind Doug, who happens to still like metal music, and told him the story about the guy who claimed to be from SoulFly. Doug said it might be possible, because they did just play a show, but then responed with two very important questions. Was he a big berly Mexican dude? Were there tattoos on his forarms? I said no to both, then doug said the guy was full of shit because all the members of SoulFly are big tatted up Mexican dudes!

Its about 10:30 and Im finishing closing up when the phone rings. Its Bobby's freind and he wants to talk to me about the number the Man gave me. I pick up the phone and the first thing he says to me, was that guy realy the drummer from SoulFly? I said no, the guy was full of shit. Bobby's freind then told me the turn of events after they left. The Man didn't want to go his brothers yet, so he said they should both go to chicago, where he new some people, and could have a good time at some bars. The man told Bobby's freind he was low on cash and asked if he could borrow $100.00. I dont care who you are, if you just met someone at a bar who claims to be in a famous band and you can't verify that for sure, regaurdless you just dont lend a stranger a 100 big ones. In this case Bobby's friend did. The man then asked if they could make a stop in seedy neighborhood, once again, you just don't do this with a stranger. It gets better. The Man then asked if it was ok to smoke his crystal methe that he had just picked up from the seedy neighbor hood in his car. Ya I know what your thinking, this Bobby's friend character is a complete tool. The Man then Takes Bobby's freind to a bar where they order a round of beer. The Man then tells Bobby's freind, he's out of cigarettes and hes just going to go to the gass station next store to buy some and he'll be right back. Can you guess what happens next? Thats right, the Man never came back. I then gave Bobby's friend the # the Man gave me and told him it was most likely bogus. After hearing this tale of stupidity, I didnt have the heart to Tell Bobby's friend that he never payed his tab (bet you didn't think it was important that I mention I had opened a tab for him earlyer) and the managers were going to make him pay for it the next time he worked.

In my oppinion this story isn't without a happy ending. Bobby's freind didn't end up murdered, and the loss of the 100 is a small price to pay for a great story you get to use over and over at partys. Live and learn.