Weird Science

My friend Doug sent me this a while back about the wedding ring he wanted to get his bride to be Agita. Yeah she's Polish, way Polish, like just got off the boat kind of Polish. We're talking old country, but lived here long enough to be Americanized.
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7050

To understand why he would want to do that, you would first have to meet Doug. He's a Red neck, that strangely enough was raised in a rich suburban community 30 miles outside of Chicago. His love for everything southern, is a mystery to all. He drives a lifted Ford pick up. Its so high off the ground you need a ladder to climb in it! Oh yeah I forgot to mention its painted up to look like the General Lee, from the Dukes of Hazard. Horn and all! His favorite genre of music is the heaviest of metal, to 80's hair bands. He also has a thing for anything macabre. I already hinted on his sexual depravity. In general, hes a nice guy once you get to know him. So it never came as a surprise that he would want a ring like that. The real question, to be asked, Why was Doug looking at a science webpage?

Ah the future, aint it great?