Dreams Come True But Not For You Francis

After a rabid photo session from the hot Polish photographer, we were off to the reception. We all climbed into the super stretched Hummer and it was very cramped. So crammed that I was smashed all the way to the end, with damn balloons in my face! I was starting to get very unhappy at this point and was feeling increasingly isolated. Here I am with everyone from the wedding party, the ushers, groomsmen, bridesmaids, the three, yes three flower girls, the father of the bride and the Bride and Groom, and I was feeling isolated and alone. Then these god forsaken balloons were stuck in my face. Everyone was having a good time and as not to disrupt the mood I had to wear my fake smile. Ah my famous fake smile, it fakes out all except for Alok. I had been wearing it since the morning and I was growing agitated and tired of wearing it. Wearing a fake smile is worse then wearing a pair of tight pants made of sandpaper on a humid day. If you can't tell, that's very uncomfortable.

My head was starting to swim with self loathing. I hate when I do this because I always know I am self loathing and its like "dude what's your deal?" Well that's what I say to myself, and surprisingly it always gets an answer that never helps the situation. Stupid brain. So I got a headache, and thought this was mostly do to, not because I forgot to eat in the morning, but because I hadn't had a cup coffee in the morning. I thought I was experiencing caffeine withdrawal. In search of coffee I went. In hind sight it probably wasn't a good idea to slam two large cups of coffee, because this probably furthered my agitation of the situation.

I was in a real slump, when I got the call from Becky. She was on her way, but had gotten lost and seemed annoyed that I hadn't fixed the directions to where she was coming from. Ah ha, this wasn't my fault because I sent her the directions to the church and the reverse directions would have been coming south bound on 53 not northbound where she was coming forming. I was under the impression that she was going to make it to the church ceremony so it wasn't my fault, but given my mood and hers, she had just driven five hours from Wisconsin, we weren't complimenting each other. So she made a wrong turn. I was being a dick! You see, I had been building myself up not to like her anymore while she was gone.

Then the oddest thing happened when she showed up. My build up not to like her was all for nothing. Her very presence had brought the biggest shit eating grin to my face. This was no fake smile, it was the real McCoy! Euphoria had swept over my being, just by her presence. It was an almost instantaneous switch from grumpy depressed Francis to Lets get this party started Francis. Like I said this girl is like no other I have ever had the honor of knowing and I never use "honor of knowing" and "girl" in the same sentence! I felt good and was sent into a giddy schoolgirl state! She would change my hole perspective on the night.

Now rejuvenate by the happy pill that was Becky, I was a man of new found confidence. The reception would turn into a great time. I hardly noticed thoughs around me in there drunken belligerence. I was all consumed by Beckys presence hardly leaving her side. Now I never dance, even in my drunken heyday I would avoid the dance floor like it was covered in the Blubonic plague! I mean dancing is just so awkward and I'm one of those guys that sits and makes fun of the meager attempts of my fellow man to cut a rug from the side lines. Not every one is Fred Astaire, but something about Becky made me overcome my anxiety of the dance floor and pretend I was. I was very awkward at first, but I loosened up and began to swing Becky to and fro. Now, I don't think I looked good by any means I probably looked like a monkey flailing my arms about, but damn it, I was having one hell of a good time looking like a jack ass. Apparently women don't care if you can dance they just care that you make an attempt to dance with them. My dancing shenanigans began to atract several other girls to my side.

It was about this time that the bride, Agata, came over to me and said some interesting words. She said "Francis what are you doing dancing with Becky? If nothing is going to happen between you to don't waste an opportunity meet someone else here!" She was referring to her cousin who she claimed was eyeballing me. At this point though, me and Becky were having what I perceived to be a magical time and I thought that I had finely won her over! I thought the deal was sealed, the cat was in the bag, she was mine. How dare Agata say such blasphemous words. I didn't need to meet anyone I had someone right here. Not just anyone, the greatest woman I had ever met! It was an amazing evening that would be contained only to the reception.

After the reception we were invited to a little bit of an afterparty at James's hotel room. Well it was no party it was just James and his girlfriend and they didn't even have any beer. I mean who invites you back to there hotel room to party if they have no ubiquitous party supply's? This is where Becky's mood began to shift and perhaps it was do to my unsmoothe pushing of the taboo subject that is us. No I wasn't try to have sex with her, although I probably should have pushed more for that, at least I may have had a chance for that, then again this is me we are talking about so, make your own conclusions. It was probably the wrong setting and the wrong time for talking about such matters of the heart. I told Becky in the presence of Alok that I thought I was falling in love with her. Yes, I know, very stupid, but the night had been so cinematic. It was if it was all falling into place for me. My judgment was clouded and I might has well of been drunk for those remarks. Her reply was something of a heartbreak and not taken well. She mearly replied with a "HA, yeah right!" Then she went into a short jaunt about how she couldn't be with anyone. I was crushed yet again. It was just like that Simpsons where Bart gets his heart pulled out of his chest by the neighbor/baby sitter he has a crush on in his treehouse.

Now it was time for the awkward drive home together. Very few words were exchanged and I had nothing to say. All I could do was sit and ponder the night, all wile pretending everything was all right. Becky had little to say as well. I was a beaten man there was nothing more for me to do or say. My time with her had come and gone, if it had ever existed at all? Our good byes that night were very short and I hardly got a hug. I was stunned as everything I thought I had built up and worked for through out the night was gone with the closing of her car door. I had returned to the same self pity I started my day with. All the pleasures of the night had faded in my mind as anger crept forward. I was now mad. I just wanted to call her up and scream at her. Instead all of my frustration ended up in sigh and a text message wishing her a safe drive home.