What Do I Want

A good question to ask ones self when not sure of what it is that one wants. It all stems from Becky, I don't know what the hell I want with her or from her. Sex is the obvious answer, but its more then that. At least I think it is. I seem to be developing feelings, feelings of an almost human nature......This will not do! So here in lies the problem, I tend to be one of those fools that rush into.....not love but its hard to describe I guess I treat my relationships more serious than I should. I am putting way to much thought into all of this and that's why I'm driving myself bonkers. Its like I like chicks to like me, and then when they do I usually loose interest even before anything happens. So do I want a serious relationship? Or is now about the time to abandon ship before feelings get hurt. I know shes not looking for a serious relationship, but thats just what chicks say, well when they don't really like a guy. This just keeps getting more complicated when you throw in her douche X! Well maybe not, but I make it seem like he plays a role. Anyway, what the hell am I doing? I don't know but I think I give up. I don't think I'm ready........For what? I'm just so damn confused. About what? I don't know? Just my head going in circles and that my loyal readers is why I am neurotic!