The DUKE

Hes A#1. The Duke (not Duke, its The Duke) aka Chris is a former member of the crew. The crew kinda dissolved after a series of bickering broke out over woman a few years back. It consisted of myself Swiggs, The Duke, Lokstro, Tack The Cack, and Sleprock. Yeah we all had nicknames for eachother, all with very interesting stories of how they came to be. The Duke acquired his name from me. It all stems from the fact that he and I hated each other when we first met. He was all gangsta gangsta, and I was all who the hell does this guy think he is? He used to come around slep's dad's house acting like king shit, and I was all "who does this guy think he is throwing his weight (he's a large fellow) around? he certainly isn't a king." Then one night after downing a few beers, and having watched the duke eat something, he was always eating something, It came to me. I was like this guys the Earl of Sandwich. So we all took turns calling him the earl, but the title didn't fit. So I kept pondering on the subject of what to call him, when I was like well hes not a king and he's no Earl, how about a Duke? Well Duke stuck, but it couldn't just be Duke it had to be a title so "The Duke" was born. He hated this name at first and kept fighting it. He even went as far to offer up his own alternatives, like Chris, but none would suffice. This reinforced his hatred for me and resulted in few punches to my arm, but over time he grew fond of his new name. He even went as far as getting it Tattooed on his arm in old English. His pathological lying would even give his name a double meaning, as in "are you Dukeing me? Don't Duke me on this!"

The Duke recently had another falling out with Slep aka James (from the previous post) over some money issues stemming from where they both used to live out in Carrie. That coupled with a series of DUI's (Driving Under the Influence) and tickets for driving on a suspended license. Dukes not very smart, or he's depressed or he just doesn't care, or he's all three, its hard to tell. You can never get a strait story out of the guy.

Today I had to tote The Dukes ass, over to some courthouse on the south side of Chicago so he could sign up for his community service. I don't know why we had to go to the south side, when he got one of DUI's in up in the north side of Cook County in Barington? He was vague on the details. Anyways he had to sign up for 280 Hours! 280 hours? thats a lot of community service, it will take him months to finish that up. He told me that his DUI cases are still outstanding, He got one wile he wasn't convicted of the other, so there both been continued? I don't know with this guy, I'm just surprised hes not in Jail as we speak. He claims he will get out of both of them, by circumstance, or some shit. His thinking so messed up, he says he's innocent even though he admits to drinking in both instances.

After I took him there, the Duke had promised to buy me dinner for my troubles. I should have made him take me out first, because he set me up. He does this all the time. He said "you know what man, all I got is 10 bucks on me." I should have bitch slapped him, "I'll buy you some McDonald's." All I did was laugh because it was in classic Duke fashion the he said it. After going through a couple tolls on the way home, he was left $7.40. He decided he wanted some Long Johns Silver, instead of the McY D's ? I don't know either, because there's only one Long Jonh's in th entire Chicago-land area, and we live near it, but I never eat there, but The Duke said he had a taste for some hush puppies? Who the hell, in the north, all of the sudden gets a taste for hush puppies? The Duke failed to realize that he wouldn't be able to buy two meals with his meager money, or did he full well understand this, so he made me split one with him. We got some fried fish, shrimp, and or course hush puppies. It all tasted like it was thrown in the same fryer and then someone spit on them. But the girls that worked there were cute.0