Just Let Her Go
I thought focusing in on my trip would distract me. Its so tough not talking to her. Every day I wake up she is the first person I think of, and everyday before I go to sleep I think of her. I don't know if I'm doing the rite thing by cutting her out of my life. I go back and forth on the subject. One day I think its all for the best and the next I feel like I am being very immature about the whole thing. I have way to much time to think now that I'm unemployed. Then it seems like I'm the one crawling back to her, but from what? I didn't do anything wrong. It takes every ounce of my selfcontroll to keep from calling her. I don't even know if she misses me the way I miss her? It's so tough. In my head I believe I'm doing this for both of our best interest. She's not done with Zaid. She needs to let him go first before she can move forward with her life. Me well, I can't just be a friend to her, I'm not strong enough to keep my feelings for her at bay. Besides it would drive me nuts to no end knowing she was seeing other men. Its almost an attack on my manhood, that I'm not good enough for her, that she thinks she can do better then me. I know that's not it. I am still so very confused on the whole situation. Its almost been a month, and I still can't keep her out of my mind. My friends tell me I'm doing the rite thing by letting her go, that if its meant to be she'll come back to me. Yeah, that old tired line. Then there's been a couple of girls in the past week that wanted to go out with me, and I turned them down. I can't be with anyone else let alone think about other girls rite now because my mind is still clouded by the most magnificent girl ever. I am so wrapped up in her, its hard to let anyone else in when your this pathetic. What-to-do-what-to-do? I think Before I leave, I need to know for sure, one last chat.........I......no......but.....but....I already know the answer. My brain tells me one thing but my heart says another. I need to, but I don't want to. I have one last kind act for her, maybe its more for me, but I need her to know................
posted by franswiggidy @ 4:45 PM
2 Comments:
I have a feeling she knows how you feel. I also have a feeling that she misses you a great deal. Just because she's having a hard time with her past doesn't mean she's still in love with Zaid...but that doesn't mean she's ready to love again. A broken heart isn't as easy to fix as a broken watch or toaster or something. It takes time...and patience. If you can't be a good friend, then everyone is right - you should be nothing at all.
Thanks for the..... kind words? I am familar with with fixing toasters on the other hand, not as easy as you think. Nobody told me to be nothing at all, I cant be her friend, becuase my emotions go beyond that. its like telling someone to only look at glass of water when their dieing of thirst. Their ganna try and drink it, and when they cant they'll search for water elsewhere. Lets just say now that, the glass of water is the best damn water on the planet, their going to keep trying to get it untill their thirst is quenched. I don't know if that makes sense, but thats the kind of torture I feel right now. I'm after my unicorn.
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