Birthday Blues

So Its been a week since my 24th birthday and I'm finally getting over the depression that enveloped that day, so I guess its time to write about the events that occurred. What got me so glum on my special day? well....lets see......could it be that my entire family forgot about it! Not to mention none of my friends called to say happy Birthday, with the only exception of Alex.

When I awoke on my 24th birthday around 5PM the house was deafly silent. Nobody was home. My mom had gone out and Frank (that's how I shall refer to my dad from now on, because he is no longer my father, just a shell of a former man known to be my dad) had gone to get his drink on at the bar. After checking my cell phone to see if anyone had called during my slumber, I was a little heartbroken, to see I only had three missed calls and they were all from Alex.

Alex is turning out to be a better friend than I thought. She called and left me multiple Happy Birthday messages on my cell's voice mail, while I was sleeping. When I returned her call she was already going out to eat at Olive Garden with her boyfriend Scott. She didn't hesitate for a second to have me come join them for dinner, my breakfast. I promptly said no and hung up the phone. I was in a state of feeling sorry for myself, that no one else was around and cared about me on my birthday. As I mulled over the idea of eating by myself and feeling depressed that nobody cared, I came to the conclusion, that I was being stupid about the whole thing. I did have someone that cared and wanted to spend my birthday with me. So I changed my mind and called Alex back.

Olive Garden not being my place of choice to eat....ever for that matter, I still went happily. Diner at the OG was as good as could be considering, and Alex and Scott managed to put me in brite spirits. Salvaging a bit of my birthday.

I got a surprising call later on that night from my little Bro Andrew, who ruined the I remembered you on your Birthday thing by saying "I forgot, I mean I knew it was coming up.....but I called Mom about something and she reminded it was today, so Happy Birthday." Next time dude, leave out the part how you found out it was my birthday and just say happy birthday. That also applies to anyone else you meet. Although I am not mad at him for his poor choice of words, after all he did send me a birthday card and a small present that means a lot to me. He sent a lighter that says Florida on it. He remembered that I collect lighters that say States and places on them from around the USA. Thanks little Bro and yes Gean did call which was a bit odd but still nice.

I suppose it wasn't the lack of people or family that cared it was my birthday, it boils down to the fact that I am now 24! Thats rite, a 24 looser living at home with his parents working a shit job, with no ambitions, ideas, or direction in life. Thats the part that makes me depressed. So after a week of trying not to think about this, by drowning out all thoughts by playing Counter Strike for prolonged periods of time, I concocted Plan D.

Yeah, I'm on plan D now. A,B, and C didn't fly so here we have plan D. The time isn't rite to explain plan D, because I don't want to say my intentions only to have them not work out or have people tell me my plans are stupid. Saves me the anxiety of having to explain plan D to everyone. As far as anyone is concerned Plan D isn't actually a Plan at all. Its just something I can say so people think I have a plan, when in fact I mite not have anything going at all. Make sense?

Now its time to update the sidebar on my blog.

A Very Unhappy Birthday To Me

The annual Martin Luther King Jr. meatloaf. this years didn't end up resembling him very much. Looks like a bee stung him in the cheek

The assassinated MLk Meatloaf

Martin Luther King JR Day

1. 1lb ground beef $2.50
2. Bread crumbs $1. 88
3. Onion $0.78
4. Instant Mash potatoes $2.49

Time spent making the annual Martin Luther King JR meatloaf with my mother, Priceless.

In honor of Dr. King my mother makes her famous Martin Luther King meatloaf. Its a rather bizarre tradition that dates back......Maybe 12 years? Talking to my mom about why she originally decided to create a bust of Dr. King in meatloaf form, I learned that the idea came from her Mother. Not the meatloaf, but making special meals that are relative to Holidays.

Most people I talk to about the martin Luther King meatloaf, say its racist, but I couldn't disagree more. I believe more people should make the meatloaf and share it with their family's. Since schools are closed on MLK day , what a better way to bring up a discussion with your kids at the dinner table why Dr. King was so important than with a meatloaf that looks like him. Also the devouring of the meatloaf points out the terrible and tragic demise of Dr. King.

Yes a strange tadition, but I still enjoy it.

Ear Today Gone.......

My ear is now at a nominal level. Its still oozing but it seems to be healing. I have to go back to the Dr. In three weeks for the final verdict. I think I have to pay for that visit?

Last night I had my brother Jon participate in the cleaning of my wound. He seemed a bit squeamish over stuffing a Q-tip into the gaping hole/slit in the back of my earlobe. I still don't have any feeling in it, but never the less, I don't think he ever thought he would be spending his Saturday night jamming a small stick with cotton on the end of it, into a gapping hole still seeping bacterial ladden ooz. On second thought, when he cut his fingers off and became the bionic commando, he had to clean his hand with Q-tips. Almost forgot about that, should have mentioned it to him yesterday.

Any way, the Dr. says I have to clean my ear twice a day with peroxide and then smear Bacitracin Ointment in the hole, if possible. http://www.question.com/link/bacitrac.html
Any body know how I can insert links through text and not have the whole damn thing show up on my page?

A Debate Over Speling

Those very few and privileged who actually reed my blogg, know by now that my spelling is atrocious. Those that know me personally, like my brothers, think its funny and adds to the majesty of my works. I, on the other hand, believe my horid buchering of the proper spelling over my mastery of the English language is quite difficult to live with.

The world is full of labels and, and do to my poor spelling, I could be labeled as an idiot. Not to deny I might actually be an idiot, but I do believe I am potentially smarter than the average person. Which considering the average person is an Idiot, that doesn't put me ahead by much.

Why am I bringing this up. Well over the past several post I have been attempting to properly spell "GAUZE!" After my first incarnation of "gozz" I was then informed by my brother Jon that was way off. This sparked a debate over how I believed I was rite, and that the spell check on this Blogg sucks.

Jon informed me that I was confused between "GAUSS" and "GAUZE!"
the first spelling is pronounced "gouse" as in a guass rifle, which is basically a magnetic rail gun http://www.scitoys.com/scitoys/scitoys/magnets/gauss.html. the second spelling is what I was looking for, but some how I managed to make the spelling mistake again after it was pointed out to me.

You see, I am an artist, so naturally I create. Unbeknownst to me, I have created my own language.

Something in my brain when I try to phonicaly spell something, puts the phonics together in the improper way I pronounce the words.

example
Francis: ya, I can't bring up the consal
Jon : Consal? its pronounced CON-SOLE!
Francis: Thats what I said, booty-traps!

Unforunately, this is probably some kind of learning disorder that was never addressed when I was younger, because I have been spelling things wrong my whole life. On the other hand, I was kid who never liked to do his homework, and always failed his spelling test, (Did I ever mention that I didn't learn to read until second grade?) But seeing how spelling test only accounted for 10 points a week in grammar school, no big loss. Well thinking back now its a huge loss to me personally, that's why I'm writing about it.

Poor spelling aside, I don't have a literacy problem. I can comprehend complex and difficult words with ease. Yet when it comes to writing, I often want to use a descriptive which I feel is best for a situation, but have to dumn the word down because I can't figure out how to spell it properly. Even my best efforts at that are no where near the proper formation of the syllables and consonants.

I think I've already writen something about this before?

Titan

I, being a very novice of an amature star gazer, am always impressed when new pictures from planets of our vast solar system are taken. The new pictures of Titan, a moon of saturn, and its surface are something to behold. I think its very interesting that they believe it rains on Titan, but not water, because its far to cold. instead liquid methane poors from the heavens! Thats rite, its so cold on the surface methane go's from a gass to its liquid state! Anyways check this site for the pics, and more http://www.esa.int/SPECIALS/Cassini-Huygens/index.html

My bandaid covered in the never ending seeping goo!

Prognosis Positive

After my last visit to the DR, he informed that my former inflated earlobe seems to be doing as good as can be expected. The DR decided it best to leave the GAUSE (happy now, I spelled it rite!) in until Friday. I have to go back tomorrow to find out the final verdict, but I think my now slightly seeping wound will be good to go.

Last night I thought I was having a dream, where I was picking and squeezing at my packed full of gause for an earlobe, only to awake and find my left finger tips covered in blood! EEEEEWWWW was my response too! The damn thing has just started itching so much, I guess that's a sign its healing.

I've had to keep changing the band aid that now covers the back side of my earlobe, on a constant basis. It keeps getting soaked in the primordial ooze that seeps from with in the vestige's of the inner workings of my festering bacteria laden factory that is my earlobe! Now that was a mouth full of descriptives. I took up saving the used bandages to show potential guest that come over on occasion, but my mom deemed that unsanitary, and had me throw them away. Or so she thinks (dun dun duuunn). Since I don't foresee any guest anytime soon I will do the next best thing, post pics of my band aids here!

Why would you want people to see your earlobe ooze on a band aid?

Your question makes a valid point, the only answer I can offer is, so people can see it, which in its self raises a number of questions as to why I would want people to see it, and all I can say to that is " just because." Hay, its my abscess and I will display it how I want too!

Quick note on that, it turns out most people, especially girls have no interest of wanting to see it. Found that out the hard way! Girls also don't want to see your freakishly long toe nails either. But some how, under the rite conditions they want to see your wiener, go figure.

15 Minutes And $285.00 later

I am Abscess free! Although the cyst remains : ( . Ya learn something new every day. Like that little bump in my ear that I described a couple post back, is actually a Cyst. This is how it works, you get some bacteria in there, and your white blood cells create a capsule around it from spreading. Where it sits as a ticking time bomb. Several months later, or years (in my case) some of that bacteria can escape or more can be introduced causing a separate infection around the area know as an abscess. I never imagined when I created this blogg, I would actual devote several entries to its title. Its either by pure coincidence or manifest destiny!

The ENT DR was a very odd fellow bearing a striking resemblance to Dustin Hoffman. He hardly spoke a word to me when he entered the examination room. He just looked over my file, looked up at my ear and then began to scribble something down.

"So" he said "how long have you had that for?"

"well it started on the 2nd and just kept growing."

"says here your taking Augmentin, ok let me get a closer look at that."

he then began feeling at my mighty abscess, without even donning a pair of gloves. At this point I couldn't resist asking what he thought.

"you see a lot of these things?"

"yes, their Farley common, but I've never seen one this big."

we're talking about a 40-something vet in the ear field, and hes never seen an abscess this big in someone's earlobe before. So it is true, things that grow on me are only common in third world country's. Some how I enjoyed hearing about my sole proprietorship over the largest earlobe cyst. Thank you my brave but painful oddity. Now it is time for you to go

"I think" the DR continued "I will have to make a small incision in the back or your ear to drain it. Then we will make a culture of it,.......Well you don't have insurance so I guess we don't have to do that, lets see how the Augmentin works first, but I will still have to drain it."

Yay, extreme jubilation came over me, finally I will be rid of this pesky protrusion. My Jubilation was short lived when the nurse came in with the tools. Scalple, needle, weird clampy things and goz where placed on a sterile table the DR had specifically asked for.

Now in my opinion the whole procedure would have gone a bit smoother if I could have laid down on an examination table. Unfortunately ear, nose, and throat DR's have an examination table that resembles a dentist chair. Its better suited for looking into the facial orifaces, but not great when you have to turn on your side. Also, if your above 5'4" your SOL because the foot rest offers little for streching out. The DR performed with a quasi gentle hand. My earlobe was numbed before hand, so the only pain I felt was when he began squeezing the infected mass from my cheek and upper ear. That made me wince quite a bit, along with the goz packing of the gaping cavity that was formerly filled by my home grown goo. My only regret is I didn't get a look at the contents that spilled forth.

There's something quite odd about having a procedure performed right next to your ear. Even though my earlobe was numb, I could still feel my flesh being cut, and worse yet hear it being done. Even stranger I could hear the fluid in my earlobe escaping. A painless procedure, yet still very uncomfortable.

After the DR finished packing my ear, he fixed a small band aid over the area. It must not have been that big of an incision after all. We where done and he instructed me to make an appointment for Thursday, so he could take the goz out. He then began to say some mumbo jumbo about post procedure visits. I must have had a blank expression on my face, because his assistant turned to me and said "he saying you can come back for free." Free, why couldn't he just said that in the first place?

When making my next appointment, and paying the whopping $285, I engaged in some banter with the receptionist. We were talking about my abscess, when she looked up at me an shouted "your dripping, your Dripping!"

"what?" I then dragged my hand up my neck and noticed the thick blood and ooze mixture. Not quite knowing what to do I just kinda stood there, until the DR came back down the hall way and said "back into the room, I thought I could get away with that band aid,but I think we'll have to bandage that up a bit more drastic."

Let me get this strait, he thought he could use a tiny ass band aid to cover an opening he just milked a pint of bacterial laden juices, not thinking it would continue to ozze out? Well he did pack my earlobe full of goz so I guess he thought that would do it. This also sparked him to change his mind from having me return on Thursday to Tuesday.

So thats how I ended up with this giant bandage on my head.

my abscess is no more!

Three Day's Later

Well, its been three days now that I have been doped up on Amox-Clav, generic for AUGMENTIN! Heres a site with its chemical configuration http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/amoxclav.htm and heres one that says what it does http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/medmaster/a685024.html
Check them out if you like, its kind of interesting to see how these things work.

I've been taking the antibiotics for three days now, and I cant say I have noticed a real change. The only thing they've been effective at killing is my lower GI track! Not violent or sevear diarhea, just more than usual, causing a slight case of hemeroids! As far as I can tell most of the redness has left the area, and its no longer tender to the touch, but I think thats because my ear lobe is now numb. But as far as the size goes, it hasn't changed. It seems the infectuos mass has solidified into a solid protrusion. very interesting, I can't wait to here what the ENT DR has to say tomarrow, if anything. I've been thinking about this and perhaps a Dermitoligist might be more effective. Why a Dermitoligst? Well, because an ENT DR deals with inner ear infections, not cysts that form under the skin in an earlobe. Maybe I'm wrong about this, we'll find out tomarow, and 100 dollars later! Stupid non-insurance freindly health care system.

Finaly learning how to use the Jasc-paint program my brother gave me. The evidence is in the two pics I merged into the one below. That reminds me, I finally broke down and bought some decent batteries for the camera . http://www.energizer-eu.com/en/e2_lithium/default.htm They seem to be working well. I've taken four pics, and the camera, get this, hasn't turned itself off or said the bateries are low! Hopefully this will be the end of my camera woes.

My normal tiny right ear lobe on the left and My freakish infected left eaarlobe on the right.

My ear lobe in its infected glory! Its hard to take a pic of ones own earlobe. Sorry the quality sucks, damn i hate this camera. I was going to include a pic of my right normal lobe to compare it too, but the bateries died again!

A Shot In The Ass!

Well now isn't my 2005 off to great start! No sooner did my insurance through my parents get cancelled as of January 1st 2005, did I develop one of my famous cyst/abscess, on my ear lobe, not my mind, although it can be argued that I do have one there as well. Now I have always had a small pocket of something inside my ear lobe, on occasion I try to make my brothers feel it. The only way to describe it is, it feels like a small ball bearing rolling around inside my skin.

Now I believe there to be some correlation between my eating of Chinese food and the re-appearance of these cyst. But after the last Dr.'s visit for one, he told me a food allergy wouldn't cause such localized inflammations of the giant kind to my face. If it was an allergic reaction I would develop several around various parts of my body similar to hives. Thanks Dock, that's al I needed know! My torrid love affair with Chinese food could begin anew!

Since my last visit to the DR I started to consume Chinese food on three other occasions, limiting myself to only crab Rangoon and potstickers. This seemed to work fine for me and the correlation between massive cyst and Chinese food seemed to have been disproved. For the time being at least

so on January 2nd I awoke to a hunger that could only be quelched by a delicacy of the Chinese kind! So I got my usual from the local Chinese joint ate it and everything seemed fine. These cyst have a funny way of developing while I'm asleep. So I awoke the next day to my surprise to find my once benign ear lobe cyst had now become malignant, or is that vise versa?
Well, I said to myself, "isn't that interesting. It seems my lobal cyst has doubled in size."
"Its probably nothing, Ill just go to work now.
So I ignored the mighty cyst that had now taken on a new life of its own. I can imagine in my head the green globulas bacteria multiply and dividing forming a thick fluid contained to the isolated most insignificant part of my body, waiting to burts forth and splatter itself onto the bathroom mirror. Theirs nothing better then squeezing a big juicy one and watching its contents birst forth, and I know I am not alone on this one. I also envision a scenario similar to Osmosis Jones, the hit animated movie staring Bill Murray and Chris Rock.

So when I awoke on the third day I was once again surprised to find my little pet infect had tripled in size completely disforming my entire earlobe and reaching its infectious talons out into my cheek! Now I was a bit concerned. I had never seen such a distortion of my earlobe before, I mean I have small ear lobes and to go to having a giant lobe that's deformed and streches down my face, is quite disconcerting. Purely from a cosmetic stanpoint. The deformation and swelling had now escalated to the point of painful to the touch. Any normal person would have made an immediate Dr.s appointment. Not me, I have had these in the past and wasn't too concerned at this point, although I did ask may mom what she thought. She suggested immediate medical attention, but the way she said it, It seemed like she was to concerned and lacking insurance I decided I was too cheap and would wait a couple more days to see if it would go down.

So two days later My ear is still the same size all puffy red and ungulateing and people at work had began to notice it,
"Dude what's up with your ear" commented a coworker
I replied with, "Its infected or some shit, I don't know, its probably an abscess."
Now my ear become the topic among the servers that night, and after 5 or more people cam up to me and said "you should get that checked out!" My concern for my precious brain became all to clear.

You see the ear lobeinfection isn't the problem, its when the infections creeps out of its self contained lobal part and decides to take up residence in your brain and blood stream, which can kill you, or worse yet turn you into a retarded person. As one wise coworker and mother pointed out "If you don't get that taken care of now, you could end up in the hospital paying twice as much just to keep you alive!" Sound words of advice, that I would here a few more times that night, which got me thinking it was time to ask my mom for a second opinion on the matter.

Once again asking my mother what to do about my once little but now consuming my face infection, she suggested once again, although this time with a little more gusto that I immediately go over to the 24 hour emergency center, 2 miles from our house on Lake St. An emergency center is basically like a hospital, but its not? The cheap part of me first wanted to know how much this was going to cost, but a quick search of their website provided no information. I guess if your sick you'll pay whatever, but now that my hypocondria was in overdrive I thought it best not to make a regular Dr. Appointment, that could take three more days, and if my infection got worse I could end up in the hospital either way. But I am still a cheap skate, and money comes before my health. I can just see my tombstone, "Here lies Francis, too cheap to save his own life"

Finding little info about cost of treating a person I decided to go there and ask in person, that's how they rope you in, they don't tell you how much it will cost to save your life until after your admitted and even then you get surprise bills that keep coming in the mail. When I asked the nurse at the reception desk how much it would cost to see a Dr. WITH OUT INSURANCE stressing that point, she responded with "oh may--be $70.......90 dollar" in a strong Philippine accent. Then she paused and changed her mind and said "I not sure, but you want to see Dr. I need drivers license!"Well that seemed pretty cheap, so what the hell and I began to fill out all the necessary paper work.

It wasn't until I got into the examination room through the usual discourse about why your there with the male nurse who was a rather large jovial man with a beard and glass's that he informed of the true cost

"Ok lets see, why are you here?" said the male nurses.

"Oh my ears got this nasty infection, here take a look" I replied

"I would have waited till next week to see my primary care Dr. But everybody kept telling me this thing could get worse and I could get blood poisoning or a massive brain infection yada yada yada potentially die from it, and the lady at the front said it would only cost like 90 bucks."

The male nurse leaned forward his gasses dipped forward a bit onto his noise and said

"90 dollars, who told you that?" "This is emergency care your looking at about $200 without insurance!"

There was then a long pause and the mail nurse could tell I looked extremely worried about the cost he had mentioned. This was true, in my head I was rationalizing how I could de-admit myself with out getting charged.

The male nurse leaned in again and said "well if you think about, and you take care of this abscess now, you could be potentially saving yourself thousands of dollars, if the infection spreads and you have to get laid up in the hospital for two weeks hooked up to IV's and being mega-dosed with antibiotics!" His words seemed strangely familiar and made sense! I wouldn't want those kind of bills. Besides he replied once again, "you can always work out a payment plan over time."

once all the questions had been answered, he instructed me to lay on the bed and wait for the DR. On his way out he asked if I would like something to drink and I replied with "water please." In my mind I was really saying for two hundred dollars the least you can do is get me some water, and bring back a hooker you fat bastard! When he returned with the water he asked "if there was anything else I needed, perhaps some magazines?" I responded with "all those magazines on the table over in the corner of the room wore outdated Popular House Wives, you got anything else? Not to put you out?" "No trouble" he replied, and returned with some outdated car magazines. I guess because I'm a guy, but I have no interest in cars.

As I flipped through the magazines awaiting the DR the clock in the room had an incessant TICK, TICK, which was driving me mad. The ticking seemed to take my focus clearly off my throbbing ear lobe, and how much this vist to the emergency center was costing me.

I was completely hypnotized by the ticking of the clock that I was startled by the DR.s light tap, tap, on the door. I was even more surprised to discover that the Dr was a she, and a hot one at that, well if you discount the giant black bags under her eyes.

"Ok what do you have here, lets take a look" said the DR.

Her eyes began to scan my face until it reached my left infected ear lobe, then quickly scanned back to my right ear lobe then back again to the right, and this went on for some time before she actually put on some groves and started touching the infected mass. I always enjoy it when people touch my oddities for some reason, even thought the slightest breeze across it hurt like hell.

The DR then stepped back for a minute and looked confused as if she didn't know what she was looking at, or what to do. This seems to be common with all my aliments and DRs'. She then said "you know what were going to do......" I interrupted her before she could finish.

"your going to lance it right!" My early attempts at self lancing were foiled to to the extreme pain in the area, I even contemplated picking up some Booze to get drunk on before attempting such an act. The internet with its lack of sites on self lancing an abscess and my moms advice against such an idea, kept me from going through with it.

"No I think.........You see I've never sween anything like this before, I mean we get patients with giant boils or abscess's on their arms and backs, which are easy because we pop them open and pack them...........But this area is too small, and.......To cosmetic....I mean you can see it, I wouldn't want to attempt anything like that, its not my specialty." said the DR.

In other words I knew what she was saying, I don't want to accidentally fuck up your face and have you come back and sue my ass for malpractice you cheap poor noninsured giant thing growing on your head mother fucker! I went there with the sole intent on having a lancing procedure, and boy was I crushed to learn it wouldn't happen.

So instead the DR suggested "we be very agressive with this infection, it has the potential of getting much worse"

"But I don't have any insurance right now, I just got kicked from it on the January 1st" "you know I'm not saying I don't want to get this taken care of........"

"Well here's what we will do, I know money is an option, but I don't see how we'll......Here I will get you started with a shot of antibiotics immediately, because this looks bad, real bad! I don't want this infection spreading, and it looks like its already starting too, and I'll give you a referral to an Ear Noise and Throat DR who specializes in this kind of thing.........And I'll give you a prescription for some more antibiotics, but you need to follow up with the END in two days!"

I was now wide eyed and dissy thinking about how much all this medical crap is going to cost me, when my attention was once again gained by the DR. Mumbling to herself about the types of antibiotics she liked VS. Cost.

"I guess I could give you, no I'll give you Clavulnate, its a strong antibiotic.... But money, it will cost you about $100."

She then decided to justify the reason for the high cost prescription "you see its better you pay now, what is actually a low cost when compared if the infection spreads to your brain and you have to be re-admitted to the hospital and hooked up to IV's for a week!"

Good point Dock! Her profound words seemed familiar and made sense, so my uneasiness about the cost was laid to rest, well for the time being, we'll see when the bills start to arrive.

The DR now began to leave and mention the nurse would be in shortly to give me a shot of Amoxicillan. Shortly later the male nurse popped his head in, braking my trance with the loud clock, to tell me" it will just be a 5 minutes or so wile the antibiotic dissolves."

"Oh! How much are you going to give me?"

"It's three CC's"

"Is that a lot?"

"yah........Oh you didn't think I was going to give it to you in your arm, did you?

I was halftempted to reply with a nieve "well yah" when he continued speaking making a valiant point.

"If I gave it to you in your arm, you wouldn't be able to use it for a couple of days!

This sent me into a panic, I had never taken a shot in the ass before, well if you don't count my visit to this place, at least not literally. The male nurse then returned moments later with the needle in hand and explained "I cut it with, Litocain, just to take the edge off." Well that was nice, I guess? I was a bit confused on how this process worked, I've seen it done in the movies, but had to ask

"do I bend over, lay down, how do we do this thing?"

"Ah just give me a bit of your left cheek, you can lay down if you want?"

I then pulled my pants down a bit and asked "is this alright?"

"yah that's good, now relax" and the bastard poked me in my right cheek!

There is something very odd about the feeling of a fluid being forced in over/into your muscle, you can feel it and imagine it all at the same time. It is by far the wierdest and most uncomfortable experience I have ever had! The male nurse then instructed me to move my leg around a bit to work it in, and he would be back in fifteen minutes to make sure I didn't have any allergy's, or vomiting. Once he left the room I sprung from the bed in what can best be described as the sorest muscle ache I have ever had. It felt like I ran five miles, stopped and then beet my ass with a ballpeen hammer! I began flopping about the room making weird three stooges noises. I can only imagine, what those out side the room thought I was doing. The incessant noise of the clock wouldn't distract me this time, although I did pay special attention to the time, so I would know when the nurse would be back and could jump back into the bed as if nothing was wrong before he returned.

Once the male nurse returned I was relieved to learn my time spent there was up, and upon walking out I was now limping substantially, which the nurse reassured me was perfectly natural. I went in for my abscess ear lobe and left looking like I fell down a flight of stairs.

So ends my adventure at the 24 emergency care building. I can say that who knew my ear lobe would turn out to be my Achilles heel?

Happy New year!

I just had the most amazing night...........Ok that's a big lie I should have said I just had the most amazingly boring night! I don't know why I'm so disappointed with how my night went. I guess it has to do with the whole celebrating the new year or lack there of. Man (takes deep breath and sighs) oh well there's always next year........and the year after that...and after that .....and after that....until I die. So here's a run down of how my new years went. Should new years be capitalized?

I got to work around 5, to my astonishment I found all three and the only other bartenders that work at Lone Star, working. Well this is great I thought to my self. Looks like its going to be another night of not making any money. I then inquired if I was the relief for one of them, but no. Apparently the wisdom of the higher ups wanted all four of us to be working, because we were going to be "crazy busy!" well, we should be able to at least make some money then? Nope not on a night where a bartender should be able to rake in a small fortune. Even are feeble bar should be able to make a little dough. That is, if we were able to take Bar tables! Once again the higher ups proved their wisdom by not wanting us to make any money and saving there own ass's from (gasp) having to do work. Ok, what will four bartenders do behind a bar that was designed to to only have 1.5 bartenders behind it? well my first suggestion was to just stand around holding are dicks in our hands. This idea worked well for the first hour or so, until business picked up a bit only allowing two bartenders to stand around with their dicks in their hands. This is pretty much set the pace for the rest of the night. The problem wasn't the amount of people in the restaurant, it was with how many people can comfortably reach the bar when its crowded. Now for some math. The bar is fifty feet long with 12 stools. Their is an approximate 5 ft clearance between the bar stools and the bar tables. yada yada yada you can only fit one row of people behind the stools. Ill take a pic tomorrow so you can get a real idea for it. Well if you have various customers coming up at irregular intervals to get a drink, and then standing around for 30 minutes or so waiting to be seated at their table, you can only actually serve about 25 People in an hour and a half. not a very high volume for making money when the average tip is between 75 cents and a dollar. now multiply that by three hours and divide by four bartenders, and you have how much money I made tonight. Now you understand why the five bar tables are so crucial to making money. I guess I am used to not making money on the weekends so this really didn't put a damper on my new years eve, the real blow to it came around 10 PM.

Every body pretty much has plans (except me) on new years eve, partys, events ect. So the restaurant starts to empty out real quick about 8:30 or so. Now we weren't required to stay open until midnight, unless we had guest in the place. So hoping I could get out before the new year began, didn't seem so far fetched, when there was only 3 tables in the place, that I might be able to leave at 11 AM. Some how I always jinx myself when it comes to wishful thinking in this area. So in strolls this elderly couple in their 60's or so. As they entered the main door to the restaurant I was crossing my fingers and saying "get a table, get a table, no don't come over here, go back, go back, high folks how are you tonight" all with a fake smile on my face. Damn, it looks like I'm going to be stuck here now! Wouldn't ya know it, in strolls another couple, same as before. Now im fucked, might as well see if I can make a couple of bucks. (Just for those of you that don't know this, never eat at a restaurant thats empty or about to close. You will get shitty service and bad food. Server don't want to be their job any longer than you want to be at yours!) So the old couple sits down orders yada yada yada, I get around to making chit chat, and say "so you got any plans for the night?" The couple replies with " these are our plans, we intend to spend bringing in the new year with you." Great, I thought, just how I wanted to end 2004 and bring in 2005 with some old farts who I don't even know at my shitty ass job! I replied with a fake smile "thats great, I didn't have any other plans." Well thats true I didn't, but given the choice of going home and sitting in my room by myself and staring at the wall or hanging out with some old people and another couple that kept sending their drinks back, I would have preferred the first choice. Or suicide, suicide would have been the best choice at this juncture.

Now it was around 11 and both couples were showing no signs of leaving anytime soon I had given up on leaving and proceeded to turn the TV on to the count down for New York. This seemed to perplex the older couple, they seemed to think it was midnight, and saying "oh deer we missed it!" The evil genius inside me wanted to say "darn, we did, happy new year every one, last call, drink up, lets go." My dastardly plan would have worked too, if it weren't for the other couple and their pesky dog leaning over and shouting, "Thats the count down for New York!"

Well long story short, ( I'm tired of telling this story) we watched the count down for the Midwest on Conan O'Brien, it was really funny because they had the head of Jon Belushi and Oprah tongue kiss at precisely midnight, although their count seemed to be a couple minutes off. I guess you had to see it to think it was funny. Then the other couple asked me if this was the official count down for Chicago? I responded under my breath with "No you rmrmph this is funny, I mean do you really care, your ringing in the new year at an empty restaurant" I then increased my voice "YA, NO THIS ISN'T THE CHANNEL, LET ME SEE, OK HERE YA GO , CHANNEL SEVEN, you friggin people keeping me here."

Well I managed to finally get out of work around 12:40 Am and proceeded to sit in my car in the parking lot for the next 20 minutes making phone calls to friends that are too busy having a good time to answer. Sigh (takes a deep breath) im depressed I think Ill just go home and play CS till the wee hours. Nah, I don't feel like doing that for once (I must be depressed), I think I'll just spend my entire morning writing this blog. Which I mite add, makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better. I guess there is some truth to expressing your feelings through writhing.