I Am Not A "GEEK"

That's right, I am a "GIC" the new sheik way of saying "geek!" It's a little different in some respects. I found this amazing new term off an add for yet another videogame cite off the Videogame Ombudsman http://vgombud.blogspot.com/. I would like to comment on the recent quality of VGO, but I won't. Anyways I digress from the meaning of "gic." So reed this http://www.modojo.com/articles/columns/3/ and then maybe explore the rest of the cite!
And or good messure I'll throw in a link to the Gamers Quarter, http://www.gamersquarter.com/ which you can download for FREE and it makes for an interesting read and they seem to hate EGM!. Although the PDF form is a bit anoying. It features the "new games journalism" which seems to be a different and interesting way of writeing about videogames. I've read a few NGJ articles, and they seem to be more or less storys about personal experiences with videogames, or some shit like that. I guess you have to read a few and judge for yourself.

Happy "Jesus Was A Zombie" Day

ah Easter with the family. Should be a happy time, but when you get 4 generations of Myers together you see where your insanity comes from!

I spent the drive over to my aunt and uncles house with my grandfather, great aunt, and mother. My father opted out of coming with, by claiming that he had a cold. Not having spoken to him in over three months, its hard for me to know if this is true or not. Although he hasn't been to the Bar in 4 days.

My grandpa is a staggering 93 years old, although he barley looks a day over 75. His hearing and eye sight are starting to go, but his mind and spirit are still sharp. After spending the day with my grandpa I thought to myself, if I new my grandpa back when he was young, we may have been good friends.

My great aunt Meriul is my grandpa's sister and never stops talking. I tried to be nice with my phony "uh huhs" and "wow" or " yes!" Although in a strange way I actually enjoyed her company for once. After years of despiseing going over to her parties, I was surprised for not having wished I was someplace else.

Now for my other great aunt Lou. She is also a staggering 93 years old. Now my grandpa was married to her sister. According to Lou, her life has been hard. But my grandpa was relentless in his persecution of her. Claiming her sob story's are nothing more than that. After all, he has known her for over 70 years. Hard to get away with lies about your life when a witness to it is still alive.

The cousins 3.......Where to begin? Seeing how my cousin Steve was only one to come up to me and say hello, I have no interest in ever seeing any of them ever again! Now granted they all have 3 kids of their own that they where busy with, but still I was in the same fuck'n room and they didn't even make a gesture or a peep in my direction. My cousin Tara never even came near me! When it came to say goodbyes none of them came to the front room to say goodbye to any of us! Fuck them! I still Like my aunt Bobbie. oh and I think my cousin Steve's kids are retarded! They hid and coddled under their mother like an ostrich with there heads in the sand. The only family there was immediate. I don't think my brother and I where ever that bad?

The food we ate was sub par at best. Since everyone was so busy with the kids we got to eat cold food. Not good, but not terrible it just tasted like....plane old turkey and ham. Where was the lamb?

So why go through all this just to complain about it. Why didn't I just stay home? Why go through all the bother? Well because I thought it would be something it wasn't. Mostly to make my Mom happy! After talking with my elders, I learned that complaining is in my blood, and it goes way back and probably farther than I can ever imagine.

God Bless NANNA, it was 15 years ago march 25 that she passed on into gods glory.

Damn you Drunky

Arghhgg (deep breath, lets out a sigh)! I was planing on writeing about how My X-Girlfreind, DUN dun Dunnn, Karen! Came into Lonestar and surprised me. But unfortunately my mind has been distracted by Drunky McDrunkersons return from the bar. Man, does he make me want to slowly murder him. Keep him alive so he sobers up and then torture him some more. Alas, I suppose its a good thing, I am not capable of such a crime. Angry I am, at least thats what Yoda would say.

Ah the insanity that stems from one man. The power he has, or as my mother would say that I allow him to have over me. I should just let it go but I am so mad at him. Its so fucked up, I know the anger goes deeper than Polish Sausage and Sour Kraut!

So drunky came home when I was in the midle of cooking. Long story short he wanted in on my food. I refuse to share my food with a man who sleeps all day does nothing for his wife, forceing me to take care of what ever shit she needs done! Ok, so I'm a prick. I just don't want to share my food with him out of protest. I made a Shit load of sour Kraut and sausage, but I'll be damned before I share it with him. So we had one of those special moments that will go into my movie some day.

DRUNK: grble garble ah you look like a Fucken Jew and your grble gartble acting like one!

ME:..............

DRUNK: let me try sopme of that( reaches dirty germ ridden poo fingures toward the pot).......you CAN"T eat it all.....

ME: (turns to protect his massive pot of sausage and Kraut)

DRUNK: You use MY stove, MY pot, MY electricity.......and MY recipee!

ME: Bill it to my room.

DRUNK: arghg Fuck you then (lunges toward the pot again)

ME: I'll throw this on the ground before I let you have any! (grabs handles to the pot)

DRUNK: you'd let your father STARVE?

ME: Your Drunky logic won't work on me, you'll get no pitty from me old man!

DRUNK: YOur the one that wants pitty

ME: Your the one that needs it.

END SCENE

well it all went down like that. The only thing I left out was me packing all my kraut and sausage into a bolw and hiding it in my room. Drunky is a tricky bastard, he waited for me to go into room and then promtly raided the fridge in search of my delicacy.

What do you mean Its not under warranty

Took my car in for its emissions test last week, and it failed. Now, unbeknownst to me, if your check engine light in your car is on, regardless how your car is running, you automatically fail. Guess this is mentioned some where in the paper work they send you in the mail, but who reads that crap. That, and I don't know what I did with it. I was supposed to take my car in for its emissions test months ago! Fearing that my linsence would be suspended I took in, only to get out of doing something else I was supposed to do.

Well Besides the having to drive out to South Elgin! For some reason they closed all the emissions testing centers that where actually close to my house. That and the Emission center guys are bunch of high school drop outs, or forced in to retirement alcoholics (Frank, anyone!) fuck nuts! Any ways, My failure code was: P0125 Insufficient Coolant Temperature for Closed Loop Fuel Control? What ever tha Fuck that means! Yeah the emissions guys didn't know and never heard of it. So when I called the dealership to set up an appointment to bring imy car in this morning, the service writer had never heard of that code either.

You know, my mechanic buddy's always told me extended warranty's were a waist of money, that is of course, you happen to be the one in a billion whos engine block cracks and the transmissions falls out, when you drive the car off the lot. Than its sorta worth it. Well when I bought my car last February, I got it for a steal, they practically gave it to me for cost. My buddy Doug was a mechanic at Friendly Ford in Roselle, so he knew the owner, who hooked me up. A 1999 Ford Escort Zx2 with 40,000 thousand miles. 6 grand in the window, but for me $3,800 tax title out the door. The owner even made a joke that the guy who had to do the paper work would only get a 25 dollar commission. So he gave it to his son. Anyways the Deal is the easy part, where you get taken is by the finance guy. These guys are slick willies and they will trick you, ad make you feel guilty about the deal. Wow, we gave you the car, why don't you buy a warranty with that. After saying no twice, some song and dance proceeded and I bought a 2 year or 20,000 mile extended warranty for 800 bucks! Ok, so what's all this got to do with the Emissions?

Well I thought my bumper to bumper warranty would cover the cost of getting my check engine light turned off. Turns out, WRONG, depending on the actual problem it will cost me $110.00, just for the fuck'n diagnostic to tell me whats wrong. Just to hook a computer up to get a code I already have, that tells them whats wrong. Now, DEPENDING, on the problem and the part thats required, and if its under warranty, then it will only cost me the deductible of $100? Well thats great? I really should start reading the fine print on these things. what the fuck, I should have just thrown that $800 away. Fuck'n warranty is worth nothing. Shouldn't even call it a warranty, should call it, we take your money and you get nothing in return, but it sounds good in case something goes wrong, which we know won't happen, other wise we wouldn't even offer this!

So here I am typing this up, all the while waiting for them to call and tell me what the deal is. So expect a ranting update when I find out what the cost is. Just when I was going to call this Debt free month. That's right, finished paying all my bills off. Just when you think your out, they suck you back in. Why does life have to cost so much?

Finally they call me back around 11:30 pm to give me the good news. Its all covered under warranty. Needs a new Tie Rod and thermostat, along with a coolant flush for $85 and a new battery for $95! A quick call to Doug, to see if all this is necessary. He suggested I go with the coolant flush just because, its preventive maintenance if I plan on keeping the car for a while. the battery, forget about it, grab one from Auto Zone for 40 bucks. Now that, thats all wrapped up..........

Franci Is That You

I received a surprise call from a long lost friend today. Ah Mariely, my beautiful, or should I say gorgeous friend from when I worked at Disney World. Surprisingly Mariely is the only one from that era I still talk to from time-to-time. Although she changed her cell phone number a couple months back, and never gave me her new one, so it was up to her to stay in touch with me. Its a bit odd that she called, because as of late, I had been thinking about her on a whim. You know, the kind of thought that passes through your head unexpectedly, like; I wonder how Marielly is.....oooo South Park is on!

So it is a surprise when she calls to tell me it was some strange act of God that my number got dialed. As I would discover through the course of our conversation that she has found Jesus! Thats right, she has found Christ almighty, and he has come to save her from her destructive ways. Turns out, since the last time we spoke about eleven months ago, Mariely had been sliding down a slippery slope. Now I didn't talk to her for long, I was about to eat dinner, so I only got the gist not all the details.

Since the last time I spoke to her, I was still drinking and she was unhappily living with her dad, and working for Hooters, all the while going to fashion School. Since then, she moved out of the apartment her dad had annexed from her and she some how got coerced into stripping/dancing! Now I would have payed to see that! She wasn't stripping at no dive either. Apparently, according to her, it was Tampa's finest gentleman's club! If you saw her, you would believe it. Then she got mixed up with some drug dealer who was buying her nice things, and throwing wads of cash at her. Unfortunately that didn't last long because he was doing other chicks on the side, and was an asshole. Mariely is also the jealous type, so who knows. She also aint the brightest either. Being beautiful, and not so smart is a recipe for guys to take advantage. When I say take advantage I mean tell you shit that you believe just so they can due you. Sometimes I wish I was that kind of guy, alas I cant use people for self gratification. Stupid mom ruining me! She started this quasi lesbian party life aat clubs around town. What I mean by that, is getting drunk at clubs and making out with other chicks, to show off. So what made her decided she had enough of this life style?

Well as odd as it is, she explained first, that she was a bad stripper. She could sit there naked no prob, but couldn't hustle men for money. You see, if Mariely doesn't like you, than she don't want to know you. This can make that kind of work difficult. She also felt bad about taking money. ya got me there? Stripping also made her feel dirty, the kind that you can't wash off. Then the iceing on the cake was, she got her purse stolen from a club. I know, that doesn't make any sense either. Well, it all makes perfect sense to Mariely, it was God telling her to change her ways.

So she started going to church, got a new job, and ditched the guy. she also quit smoking and drinking. Sounds a lot like someone I know.

As surprised as I was by her tale, she was equally surprised with mine. Are we maturing?

Weird Science

My friend Doug sent me this a while back about the wedding ring he wanted to get his bride to be Agita. Yeah she's Polish, way Polish, like just got off the boat kind of Polish. We're talking old country, but lived here long enough to be Americanized.
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7050

To understand why he would want to do that, you would first have to meet Doug. He's a Red neck, that strangely enough was raised in a rich suburban community 30 miles outside of Chicago. His love for everything southern, is a mystery to all. He drives a lifted Ford pick up. Its so high off the ground you need a ladder to climb in it! Oh yeah I forgot to mention its painted up to look like the General Lee, from the Dukes of Hazard. Horn and all! His favorite genre of music is the heaviest of metal, to 80's hair bands. He also has a thing for anything macabre. I already hinted on his sexual depravity. In general, hes a nice guy once you get to know him. So it never came as a surprise that he would want a ring like that. The real question, to be asked, Why was Doug looking at a science webpage?

Ah the future, aint it great?

Inside Scoop

So there's this guy that comes in and sits at the bar at Lonestar all the time. Well this guy also claims to be a US Marshal! Now like I said, don't trust anyone, especially the types I get in Lonestar. Normally I wouldn't believe him, but I've over heard him talking on the phone about cases and shit. Unless he's going out of his way to make it look like hes actually a Marshal by petending to be on the phone with some one. Rather extravagant lie, but you never know.

So he comes in the other day and we get to talking and, he starts telling me about how busy he is, because of a very prominent case in the Chicago land area.
Those of you not familiar a Federal judge, Joan Lefcow, husband and mother where killed in there house. Here's a link to the full story
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1428146,00.html

Any ways we start talking details and he's telling me that he was with Mrs. Lefcow for a couple of hours and had to sk her some questions that nobody had asked her yet? Hmmmm OK? Well he went on to tell me that some things weren't adding up about the crime? That some of Mrs. Lefcows actions when she first arrived at the murder scene didn't make sense? I was going to pry deeper into what he meant by this, but he seemed to ack like he had said to much. So I asked if they had any leads, and he said they didn't have much to go on. That who ever did the crime seemed to try to make it look professional, but were amateurs. Also, he said he didn't believe the renowned racist mathew hail had anything to do with it. That Mrs. Lefcow and her husband had made several enemy's throughout both their careers. There were a lot of avenue's that needed exploring.

Ok so he gave me some generic stuff that anyone could have surmised. Now he might be a US Marshal, but maybe he just wanted to brag about a big case? I know for a fact that Marshals are on the case along with the FBI and CPD so he could be telling the truth. I mean why go through all the trouble of making crap like that up, only to tell me that the rest of his night consist of doing laundry that he's been meaning to get to, since before he left to do security at the Oscars?

What have I been missing, Since I Quit Drinking

So I don't see my friends very much, since I've quit drinking they don't call anymore. So I was surprised when I got a call about midnight from my buddy James telling me to rush over to his mom's house, because she was out of town and he was watching it. Lacking anything better to do, I didn't hesitate.

At this point I had completely forgotten my vow to never step foot in James mothers house. Why would I make that vow? Well its a long story involving my hatred and disgust for James's whore of a mother and a lot of other stuff that wouldn't make much sense to those out side of our little click. So now I owe Alok 50 bucks.

So I rush over there, which wasn't very fast, no thanks to James piss poor directions. As I entered his mothers home I didn't know what quite to expect, but when it comes to my friends, it could be anything. It was dark, inside, and not being familiar with the home I called out to James to see where he was. He replied with "in the living room."

As I rounded the corner to enter the living room, I was taken back and completely surprised with what I saw! It turns out I was invited over to watch a drunken orgy involving James, his girlfriend, my other buddy Doug and his wife to be all going at it, boobs out, the whole shibang!

What the fuck have I been missing since I've been away? First off Doug's always been a weird sex guy. When we were 18 he wanted me to have sex with his then girlfriend, while he sat in his closet and watched! His girlfreind was down, but I couldn't go threw with it. James has always been a bit shy with his sexcapades, but ever since he hooked up with his whore girlfriend Jen, who he cheats on constantly, and likes to perform humiliating acts on, because he thinks its funny, yeah hes a prick to her! I mean who repeatedly farts on their girlfreinds head while she's bent over pukeing from drinking to much? That's just one story, trust me the other ones are worse! Like the time he was having a party at house and decided to have sex with his girlfriend in their back yard, full well knowing she was laying in dog shit, and then not saying anything to her about it so when they returned to hang out at the party, he could point it out to everybody and laugh! Oh I got a ton more of those, but for another time, so back to the point. When did these two start hanging out?

The weird freeky almost swingers sex stuff I can explain, its just Doug has never really hung out with James since they were 16. Now they do couples things, like go to car shows, movies together,have sex in front of eachother, and just for shits and giggles invite their friends over to watch.

So is my life, never a dull moment. I take that back more like extended periods of boredom, with bits of insane happenings to break up the monotony! Oh yeah, and I know some fucked up people!

Defending my caveman remarks

I was originally planning on putting some kind of proof behind my remarks, as to a boy looking more like his mother than his father. Unfortunately, like I say, trust and believe no one or anything you read! I could have swore I read something somewhere or heard something in biology class that backs my claim to this. I alas, after hours of searching through pages and pages of genetics jargon, gave up. Yes I am aware that parents give equal genetic material, but the quality is determined by dominant recessive bla bla bla....Daughters get XX while boys get Xy......That's all I got for now.

I did come across some research that baby's regardless of sex look more like their paternal fathers, as a kind of survival mechanism. A male is more likely to stay around and care for a baby that looks like him than one that doesn't. Goes back to the cave man times. Some shit like that. So my argument, which is a moot point in the previous post about the baby looking nothing like Matt, has no facts behind it all. Sorry for the misunderstanding

Just another reason why I love the interenet, facts and my fingure tips!

Thought This Only Happened On Jerry Springer

I got this friend, well not really a friend, more like an X-coworker I talk to from time-to-time named Erin. We all called her "Red" because she had red hair. Well Erin got knocked up about 21 months ago, by her boyfriend of 8 years Matt. Or so we were all led to believe? She just celebrated her son Dillians 1st birthday a couple weeks ago. I was invited, but didn't attend, because it started at like 1 pm, not awake at that time. Any who, I have known Erin for a long time, about 3 years, and always thought her to be a pretty honest and trust worthily person.

She had some real codependant/motherly issues, but was a decent person. Or so I thought!
So Matt Erins boyfriend returns home from work last week only to discover the house he shares with Erin to be empty! All of Erins Shit was gone; the kid, the dog, all of her furniture, and even the family pictures. Matt was left with nothing but a letter. Which I don't know what exactly it said, probably something like:
Dear Matt
I have Dillian, hes OK, and the Dog, moved out, took all my shit, don't worry, I will call and tell you why.
P.S. Im a slut!

So when Erin called she broke the ultimate blow to a mans ego/nuts/ heart! She told him.....Dunn Dunn Dunnnnn.......That she had been living a lie at that Matts son wasn't his son at all, it was Flobies! Yes Flobies son! so your probably wondering who Flobie is? Well Flobie WAS Matts frat brother, and best friend Turns out Flobie had always been in love with Erin and about the time Erin got pregnant, her and Matt where having some issues. So Flobie moved in and got it on, and the rest, as they say, is history. So how did he know for sure? Well Dillian never quite looked like Matt. No biggie, after all a boy gets most of his genes from the mothers side. So Flobie got Erin to take a Paternity test to prove it once and for all!

Now like the title says, I thought this kind of shit only happened on Jerry Springer or Morray Povich! Makes me think about the quality of people I know. I can only imagine what Matt is going through. In one day he lost his woman, dog and, found out his son wasn't his. He could write a country song now. But how do you go about telling everyone you know, and he knows quite a few people, that your no longer a father? How embarrassing, or is it? What would you do?

I think this situation might warrant a killing, but no less than a severe beating! Talk about betrayal. Its worse than cheating on someone, just because you have raising what you thought was your son. Hopes dreams college fund all that crap gone, Imagine that story when you get older.

Young Man Dillian "hay mom, whos that guy in most of my baby pictures?"
Erin: " oh, that's the dope who thought he was your father and raised you for a bit."

Ok I'm done ranting about this, I got nothing else to talk about. I guess, I feel a bit betrayed by a a person who I thought was little trust worthy, wasn't at all. This just reaffirms my belief that everyone is out to get you even your parents, and always believe that everyone is lieing to you, unless other wise given proof, (solid proof, none of that I have a friend who can back me up on this). Just the other day Braden ( the other Bar tender and king of all liars) Told me that the dude from Bill and Ted, I think Bill, not keanu, was dead! Well on my way home from my bothers house, I heard on the radio that he not dead, in fact he is writing a film based on the founder of Napster. Weird, I always wondered what happened to him, but it proves my point you cant trust anyone, not even your significant other!